Car launch track sessions are usually highly regulated affairs; no turning the ESP off, chaperones ahead or in the passenger seat to keep your boots cool and a general frowning upon anything suggesting timing or going for a fast lap. Bizarre then that on the launch for the Brabus Smart ForTwo we were let loose on a short sprint stage on a German test track. Against the clock. Against a bunch of Italian journalists. What could possibly go wrong with that one?
Thankfully nothing. And, no, I didn't win. Racing driver excuse? I got too carried away on the sprint track to do the slalom/autocross thing that also counted to the final score. To finish first, first you must finish and all that.
What does driving a Smart ForTwo on track reveal, other than lots of howling understeer? Maybe I'm just a bit odd, but a chance to punt anything around a circuit against the clock is something to be embraced with maximum enthusiasm. And maximum attack. Also present were a bunch of British Smart racers, one of whom got sucked into the series after accidentally buying a race-prepped ForTwo while browsing the PH classifieds for a new car for his wife. These things happen. And a passenger lap in the car reveals a riot of chattering turbo, screeching tyres and surprising speed, even on street rubber.
Getting any Smart to go fast on a circuit isn't easy though. You're battling quite a few unfavourable things, be that a short wheelbase with no weight over the front wheels, top-heavy dynamics, on/off turbo, low-geared steering and iron-fisted stability control attempting to stop that lot tumbling headlong into the bushes. Credit due, the second-gen car's dual-clutch gearbox is at least a lot crisper than the head-nodding robo-manual in the old car.
I'm bloody-minded enough to enjoy a challenge and, from previous experience in the Smart Roadster, know they're best driven like go-karts, left-foot braking to stabilise the nose into the turn and leaving the throttle foot free to keep the turbo on the boil. Main goals are to eliminate understeer as far as possible and keep the pace up without awakening the killjoy stability control. Not easy, tactical lifts and a bit of trail braking seemingly ducking under the radar and the little 899cc triple surprisingly gutsy and raucous. No. I don't think I'm going to be scouting the classifieds for a ForTwo race car. But for the sheer ridiculousness of going for a time in a Smart car I salute the launch organisers for including it on our itinerary. Here's a vid to give you a flavour.
