Inscribed on a plaque above the entrance to Shed's premises is the following epithet: 'one man's classic is another man's burden.' These simple (you would think) words are designed to deal with would-be sellers of classic vehicles who arrive on his doorstep with the great news that this is Shed's lucky day and that he's about to make a fortune from the car they are reluctantly having to offload.
The sign is never read, of course. Blithering idiots still come through the door.
Well we know half of that is right...
Shed has strong views on classics. He believes that cars are there to be used, and has little time for owners of (mainly Italian) exotica who celebrate the joy of their purchases by locking them away in heated garages and adding no value-reducing miles. To Shed, these people are fools. The default condition of any vehicle is that it should be useable. After that, it can be a classic, but whatever classic status it has should not be conditional on it never seeing the light of day. For Shed, the ultimate vehicle combines classicity and usability, with a price tag of under a grand.
Today's Saab 900 hits the spot. We shouldn't really be featuring it here, as it's SORN'd, but we're not going to let a bit of form-filling get in the way of this one.
They did do a three-door hatch, but this is the far quirkier two-door notchback. Some will see this car's styling as individual, others as straight-out gawky, but there's no disputing the design quality or the anvil resilience of a 'proper' pre-GM Saab. Just take a squint at those 27-year old panel gaps. Pretty good even by 2014 standards, and downright amazing for a car that first saw the light of day in 1978, when British motorists were patriotically stumping up for motorised baccy tins like the Morris Marina.
And there's blue velour to match
That huge curvy windscreen and spidery (but strong) A-pillars give you the sort of all-round vision a Viggen fighter pilot would happily accept. He might not be so keen on the performance: after all, a hundred brake is the sort of output you'd expect from a modern 16-valve 1.2. In an '80s Saab pumping just eight valves, you needed 2 litres for that.
But who says life should be about flitting hither and yon like a demented hummingbird? The Saab 900 is a charming and, perhaps more importantly, engaging drive. Much of that is down to that complicated-looking lump of metal under the bonnet that isn't the engine. For you young 'uns out there, this is what's known as a carburettor. We're all in a terrible rush nowadays, but it wasn't always like that. Even petrol was more relaxed in the '80s. It wasn't squirted into the combustion chamber at a million psi: it trickled gently in via a spindly tube with a hole in it, metered and powered only by the natural wonder of vacuum. Despite that, carbs worked, some would say rather more responsively than the algorithm-anaesthetised injection systems of today.
And it won't just be the forgotten pleasures of a carburetted engine you'll be enjoying behind that manly wheel. There's nothing much wrong with a suspension setup featuring double wishbones up front and a torsion bar at the back, and there's plenty to admire in of the aircraft-inspired dash, where instruments and controls were positioned according to strict ergonomic parameters. These are top quality cars. Even the wheel covers are stainless steel. Different, too: the door bottoms were on the same level as the floor, obviating the need to lift one's leg any higher than absolutely necessary to gain entry.
If you've ever wondered where Fiat, MINI et al get their retro colour palette inspirations from, one look at the baby blue hue of this 900 should set you straight. A pity there are no pics of the blue velour interior, because that really would have had you rubbing your eyes in either admiration or disbelief. Happily, the headlining which always sags on these cars has been fettled. The cabin is a comfortable and solid place to be. The feeling of permanence is palpable, and not always present in modern machinery.
The handbrake on pre-'88 models like this acted on the front discs and could suffer from binding. Crunching into reverse isn't a problem, though: there's no synchro on that gear. Eight-valvers have shim-adjusted tappets rather than hydraulic lifters, which is either a garage expense or an opportunity to test your DIY skills. Cam timing is by a chain which, on a normally-aspirated car, has a long lifespan. Just as well because replacement is an engine-out job. Heater matrix valves can fail, and wiper operation can be patchy. Check the earth by the radiator is clean.
This Shed makes sound financial sense. As the vendor says, classic insurance is cheap, and the car has clearly enjoyed meticulous maintenance from its four loving owners. All the new owner has to do really is keep the servicing going. Only a muppet - the sort who doesn't read signs - would lose money on it.
My 1987 Saab 900 two door with service history and just four owners. Presented in the rare combination of Zircon Blue with Blue velour interior it exudes retro cool and would make a superb daily driver for someone looking to stand out a little from the crowd. It also benefits from being eligible for cheap classic car insurance!
Five seats, clock, cigar lighter, padded steering wheel, interior lighting, vanity mirror, headlamp wash/wipe.
Finished in the rare shade of Zircon Blue the car still shines beautifully. Purchased from a Saab enthusiast who kept the vehicle garaged for the last 17 years, which has undoubtedly helped preserve this example to make it the exception to other offerings. Not modified in anyway, a few blemishes can be seen but these do not affect the overall impressive appearance.
Protected fully by seat covers and carpet floor mats throughout from new this interior is remarkable. The Blue/Grey velour cloth seats are unworn and the grey carpeting clean. The roof lining has recently been replaced and all interior functions operate correctly. This Saab has escaped the normal abuse from hard daily use and presents itself in enthusiast, unmodified condition. A rare survivor.
The 2.0l petrol engine needs little introduction with proven strength, reliability and simplicity. Producing 100 PS with an impressive 162 Nm of torque at just 3,000rpm, pulling power is guaranteed. A tough manual gearbox giving 5 forward and 1 reverse gears .
Factory specified steel wheels with genuine Saab stainless steel wheel trims. New tyres grace all four corners with ample tread having been replaced recently.
Supplied new on 28th August 1987 by a local Saab Dealer, Buckingham & Stanley, Cambridge to a Mr E.Clarke this vehicle has only had four previous owners from new. Meticulously maintained every 6000 miles leaving the new owner no doubt whatsoever how cared for this Saab is. This example has now covered only just over 129,000 miles from new, with previous MOT's and service history to verify this low mileage. All handbooksmanuals are included. Supplying dealer number plates front and rear and window stickers are still present.
MOT August 2014, Currently SORN.
A few people have asked the same question, the answer is there were NO advisories on the last MOT.
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