ULEZ has been in the news this week. Not because of something Mrs Shed rudely shouted at the postmistress in the corner shop the other day but because of the controversial (to some) extension of London’s clean air zone.
Shed likes ultra-low emissions zones because of the effect that they have had in forcing nice motors out of the cities and into his own ultra-high emissions neighbourhood, where the air is constantly perfumed by the eye-watering pem of newly-mucked fields and old sheep wee.
This week’s shed, a Euro 3 BMW X5 Sport with the 231hp 3.0 petrol engine and five-speed manual, is a case in point. When X5s come into any conversation you can usually hear the sound of massed PH bargepoles being extracted from their scabbards for non-use. That represents a big shift in sentiment from the X5’s 1999 debut in 4.4-litre V8 form when it was being hailed as the best thing since sliced halloumi.
You could see why too. The X5 was one of the first truly premium SUVs, offering a convincing mix of family space and all-conditions performance along with all the other stuff that made people want to buy BMWs. The engines came from the E39 5 Series, a good car, and the clever off-road gizmos came from the L322 Range Rover, which should have been a good car.
The reasons for the drop-off in X5 respect centred around the cost of fixing things when they went wrong. Shed will drone on about some of these in the next para, but before we spark up our pagan torches and carefully remove the rubber protectors from our glinting pitchforks, let’s admire the good stuff on this October ’04 facelifter. For a change, there’s plenty to admire. Among other things, the facelift gave the 3.0 petrol BMW’s new and brainier xDrive all-wheel drive system, although the manual box continued as a 5-speeder. Dechromed Sport models like this one had 19-inch wheels, sports suspension setting and sporty seats.
Old X5s are traditionally flogged to death by used owners looking for a premium experience at budget cost, but this 125,000-mile gen-one E53 has an unusually cared-for look to it. The MOT history seems to have plenty of ink on it, but most of the entries refer to consumable items like tyres, brakes and suspension parts. All of these were very consumable on the X5, so many of them were run to the limit and beyond by penny-pinchers. Rear subframe bushes, bushes, ball joints and CV boots were eaten up. If you got more than 60,000 miles out of the front suspension control arms you were doing well. Front driveshaft splines could fail on manual X5s.
That wasn’t the end of it. There were fuel system issues too. X5 air con and air suspension systems could be troublesome and door handles were fragile. None of these was the main cause of dissatisfaction among E53 X5 owners though. Electrical problems have always been number one. Various lights have failed to function on our shed over the years. The actuator on the transfer box on post-facelift cars needs checking for function. Slow churning on startup suggested dodgy windings in the starter motor.
The oil leaks that get two mentions on this car’s MOT history were fairly common, as were coolant leaks from frazzled hoses. On the plus side water pump replacement was easier on the sixes than it was on the V8-powered X5s. Still, when you found yourself with a bad X5, there was a good chance it would be really bad.
Shame really because the good ones were really good, as was the original concept and then the final design, which according to legend was knocked out by Frank Stephenson on a plane in two hours flat after he had been set a challenge to create an SUV prototype before touchdown by his then boss Chris Bangle. Story goes that there virtually no changes were made to Stephenson’s scribblings. It must be great to be that talented.
Look at this one though. Surely it’s going to be OK? It sits well and the body and wheels look very good. The reg number is X99 RDB but anyone called Rob won’t be seeing it that way. There’s that nicely leathered Sport interior too, with wood. Unlike the ULEZ extension, however, it’s poplar.
1 / 4
