Here's a classifieds challenge for the PH heartland if ever there was one. Because big saloons, specifically really fast big saloons, find near unanimous approval around these parts. It's not a complex, innovative recipe, nor is it a particularly modern one, though the appeal of a large engine in a large four-door refuses to wane one little bit - it's a timelessly likeable combo. Indeed, as the conventional saloon loses out as product planners prefer trendier SUVs, it could argued that the traditional charm of four doors, four seats and four hundred horsepower (or more) might be ever so slightly on the up. Who, after all, wouldn't happily spend all their miles for the foreseeable behind the wheel of a new M5 or E63?
There's another key element to the super-saloon's enduring allure, however: depreciation. Near enough everything loses value, of course, though the super saloon's especially potent cocktail of chunky RRP, fierce running costs and less than exotic image typically consign them to a fairly miserable fate as far as residuals go - especially in the UK. Until the market realises how under appreciated they are a couple of generations down the line, and values start to pick up...
Which means that this week's budget of £15,000 should be more than enough to secure our half dozen halfwits a fine array of four-door firepower. Furthermore, the only qualifying criteria are the price and the need for four doors, so the selection pool is wider than it maybe first seems; try suggesting that an Impreza isn't all that super when it's left an M5 miles behind on a wet road.
So that's your mission, chaps, should you choose to accept it: find the best four-door performance cars on PistonHeads, for £15,000. This message will self destruct in...
Oh, how we mocked back in the mid-2000s. Mercedes was making a four-door coupe? Nonsense! A coupe has two doors, a saloon has four - and that's the end of it. But paying customers didn't care about the semantics, as the CLS proved; not only has it spawned two successors, the template has also been taken on by all the opposition, too.
And yet after a decade and a half, I don't think Mercedes got the CLS any more right than the original 55 AMG. Later cars became fussier and less elegant, more recognisably Mercedes than the original trailblazer. It was a new style of AMG hot rod, the CLS, yet no less appealing for it. Chiefly because it took all that was good about contemporary fast E-Classes and wrapped them up in something a little sexier - it looked special, not merely resembling a hotted up Stuttgart taxi.
This one looks a fantastic example; Perlite Grey is more interesting than it sounds, the interior is in good condition and the mileage is more than reasonable. Add in the thrills of a supercharged AMG V8 with almost 500hp and I'm struggling to find much fault with it. Apart from the 'four-door coupe' billing, perhaps; just for the sake of this argument, let's call it a saloon...
MB
My choice may not be the fastest in a straight line this week, but I'd put money on it being the lightest and most entertaining. The Spec C - C standing for Competition - was a limited-edition rally homologation lightweight destined for the Japanese Domestic Market (JDM).
Thankfully, UK's very healthy import market for such things means there's plenty to choose from. The Spec C benefitted from a twin-scroll turbo, Driver Controlled Centre Differential (DCCD) enabling you to shift more power to the rear wheels, a Group N chassis base and Spec C suspension to name but a few highlights.
It won't be as luxurious as Matt's AMG, but you'll be pleasantly surprised how comfortable an Impreza can be on a long journey. I'll never tire of the iconic Subaru Boxer rumble as I mutter pace notes to myself on my trip to the supermarket either. And let's face it - who had a poster of a saloon on their wall as a child that wasn't a Subaru or Mitsubishi?
BL
Being the current owner of a 550i E60 it's possible I'm being a bit biased here, but I'm confident - nay convinced - I've found this week's winner. In the B5, Alpina delivered the 545i engine with a supercharger attached, pushing out 500hp and 516lb/ft torque. That level of fettling resulted in a 195mph top speed, alongside a quicker 0 to 60mph time (just) and more twist than the equivalent V10 M5.
When launched the B5 started at £63k which, taking into account inflation, equates to £88k in today's money - so sitting on a forecourt at a shade under £15k it does seem like a bit of a steal. Granted it doesn't come with the most complete description - I'd love to know a little more on its service record, keeper history etc as I know how things can get costly pretty quickly - and it's a little leggier than I'd ideally like. But nothing is perfect.
The real elephant in the room is the interior. I typically adore all things Alpina - have briefly owned a D3, I still think the multi spokes are one of the best alloy designs ever - but I'm not sure I could live with the two-tone leather trim. With that fixed though (possibly with the permanent wearing of shades) I think the B5 covers all bases; 500hp, almost 200mph - and totally the best.
SL
I won't pass judgement on the other cars selected here because frankly when it comes to saloons I'd be inclined to buy German or Japanese, too. But the Jaguar XFR, specifically the first generation X250 variant, has always held special significance - most likely because a very early example was run as a longtermer by the editor of the first car magazine I worked at.
Two memories standout. The first is that it just seemed legitimately cool, in a way that no modern era Jaguar had ever seemed before. It was comfy and classy and seemed to me crazily fast. (That it went sideways crazily fast also held special fascination back then.) Secondly, the very first time I drove it I was accompanying another junior hack down the motorway - ostensibly to shield him from lorries, while he frantically pedalled a G-Whizz one not-entirely-legal junction to a location shoot.
Of course, while conscious of his anxiety, it seemed rude not to let the 5.0-litre V8 briefly have its head. Cue frantic radio calls, and the kind of gap that no G-Whizz could ever close. He understood though, the XFR was just that kind of car. The irrepressible, brilliant-sounding best kind. Over a decade later I can't think of a better fast saloon to invest less than £15k in...
NC
Since no-one has been brave enough to really tackle the popped balloon that is super saloon depreciation, I've gone in at the deep end. The Maserati Quattroporte oozes Italian cool from every panel. It also leaks value like a ten-year-old paddling pool. Which means that in 2020 you get sublime styling and an atmospheric Ferrari-built 4.2-litre V8 for Fiesta money.
There's plenty to fear, of course: real-world economy is at best in the low teens, and thanks to that Ferrari link, should anything go wrong the double overhead cam V8, it will no doubt cost an absolute fortune to put right. But a QP is deserving of your attention; it delivers 400hp at 7,000rpm from a motor with family ties to the F430 lump. It is as wonderful to behold as it is to operate, with the bark of a proper Italian eight pouring through the bulkhead. There's a healthy 333lb ft of torque to lean on through the mid-range, too, enough to create that feeling of effortlessness while your skin is massaged by Italian leather.
Of course, it's a leftfield choice - much further to the left than an XFR, I'd wager. But it's a tailored suit to anything else offered up here, and it has the substance to back up its style. Plus this one is in fine nick. Want. Want. Want.
SS
Vauxhall had a problem in 2007. The new VXR8 had a claimed 0-62 time of sub 5 seconds - which made it one of the quickest saloons available at the time - but none of the magazines could get near it. So I was dispatched to Millbrook with two other notable automotive journos to meet the quietly spoken Aussie guy who'd set the benchmark.
Vboxes fitted, some tricks from the guy down under - plus a little inter-title rivalry - and we could just about get close to 5 seconds but still not near that elusive manufacturer time. The issue (or possibly the single greatest thing about the VXR8) is the amount of torque being sent rearward by its Corvette-stolen 6.0-litre V8 and its tendency to frenetically spin up the tyres.
This little black number comes with a few upgrades: a Walkinshaw exhaust, an uprated gearbox and some ARB bushes to stiffen up the roll. Also, it looks a pretty well-kept car with low mileage for its age and, crucially, new boots at each corner.
Badge snobs may scoff at the Vauxhall griffin on the front, but it's all Holden really, and ownership grants you access to an exclusive bunch given there are only 500-ish taxed in the UK. Treat it as gently as a mild-mannered test driver from Oz, and you'll have unlocked a super-saloon gem!
PD
1 / 7
