 |
|
Volvo XC90 |
PistonHeads does have readers that drive Volvos, so for their pleasure and
probably noone else's we bring you news of their latest estate on steroids. We
were promised a "New Generation SUV", and that's what they've given us
- a new generation of Slow Ugly Van.
It's big and it's probably clever but it's not very exciting. Looking like a
jacked up plastic toy, it's a sad reflection on modern design that stylists are
following each other like sheep on a roundabout.
The trend for jacked up charabancs like this is capturing manufacturers'
imaginations despite the obvious pitfulls from an engineer's perspective. We
believe one major car maker is already working on a design for a double decker
hatchback.
It's an irreversible trend unfortunately. Sitting higher than other road
users makes you feel superior and safer. With more and more SUV's on the road,
the more insecure members of society then feel obliged to sit even higher. Bad
news for anyone in a 'normal' car for whom a minor collision with an SUV will
result in a hideous decapitation. So much for the advance of road safety.
The desire to sit higher than anyone else on the road is having a knock on
effect to other road users. The Post Office is running secret trials in which
postmen are being given Penny Farthings to negotiate city traffic whilst Unigate
is experimenting with delivering milk via C130 transport planes.
Police forces have also expressed concern at the trend and are asking the
Home Office for permission to try out the new multi-story Range Rover. High
ranking officers are very keen on the idea. It now becomes obvious that the
Range Rovers air suspension was years ahead of its time and the ability to lower
the car to pass under bridges was inspired.
The specialist British manufacturers are also aware of the trend and most
have projects under development to ensure they don't get left behind. Morgan's
wooden framed five story 4/4/4/4/4 comes complete with tudor style facades, a
spiral staircase and thatched roof. Not to be outdone, TVR's new Tuscan
Townhouse features a monocoque tub (ensuite) and dormer style windows for better
aerodynamic efficiency.
Even Porsche spotted the trend and despite making sportscars since the year
dot, they've been dragged into the ridiculous farce and produced a jumped up SUV
of their own. If that's not proof that the world's gone SUV mad then I don't
know what is.
![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 4 3"%3E%3C/svg%3E)
![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns="https://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 1 1"%3E%3C/svg%3E)