The new 4 Series is far from the first BMW to provoke the ire of the car-buying public - remember the E65 7 Series? Launched way back in 2001, the E65 had the unenviable task of replacing the E38 7 Series, which to this day might still be the most handsome four-door BMW ever produced.
As is now well known, Chris Bangle didn't hold back on flame surfacing a 7 Series for the 21st century. At a time when the MG Z cars were deemed pretty bold, the world had seen nothing like as futuristic, distinctive and - to be frank - brave, especially in the stoic luxobarge arena. Look at the S-Class, A8 and XJ from the turn of the millennium - all smart in their own way, but predictable to the point of generic.
And Bangle may well have had the last laugh on this. Because when his designs were toned down - most notably for the E90 3 Series of 2005 - the resultant BMWs were neither classically stylish nor memorably bold. They were just a bit forgettable. Furthermore, those models where he was given free rein have - to these eyes, at least - aged really rather nicely. Best examples include the E61 5 Series Touring, the E63 M6 and, dare it be said, this generation of 7 Series. There's something still quite contemporary about it, which is quite some feat to pull off with such a traditional bodystyle and almost 20 years behind it; if nothing else it's at least identifiable and interesting, which is more than can be said for the very plain F01 7 Series replacement.
However, even if we can't all agree on whether or not this 7 Series is a good-looking executive saloon, hopefully there is consensus on one thing: Alpina makes a better BMW. Be it small, large, petrol, diesel, saloon, coupe or roadster, whatever BMW conjures up you can almost guarantee that Alpina will improve upon it.
This B7 was the perfect case in point. Back in the early 2000s, there wasn't a performance focussed, fast 7 Series; there isn't really today, in all honesty, but there is the M760Li xDrive M Performance model, which is more than they're used to be. And it has 600hp. In 2003 the most potent 7 Series was the 445hp, V12 760i, which presumably the boys and girls of Buchloe merely scoffed at. Then got busily to work...
Taking the N62B44 V8 used in the 745i, Alpina married it to a supercharger for the sort of gains that make you a big deal on Instagram: 333hp became 507hp, and 332lb ft soared to 516lb ft. Even the 760 could only muster 443lb ft - it's seldom that an Alpina is so much more potent than the donor BMW.
As well as being the first supercharged Alpina, this B7 was only the second one to be imported to North America, following the Z8-based Roadster. You can guess the rest: big, powerful, exclusive Alpina went down as well with a North American audience as cases of Bud Light at a frat party - more than 800 were sold in just over a year on sale. Impressive too given that year was 2007, just as the warning signs of impending financial doom were emerging.
But this isn't one of those B7s. It's a Japanese, right-hand drive car instead, one of just 10 produced apparently, and unique in Onyx Blue. There simply isn't another one in this specification, anywhere in the world. It looks well on its 14 years and 55,000 miles, too, leather still fresh, paintwork still gleaming and sticker set unsullied. Even the famously kerbable Alpina multispokes seem in good nick - no mean feat.
Imported this year, its only UK owner is asking for £23k. Clearly, valuing such a rare, niche vehicle is challenging, though that seems respectable enough. Of course, the sensible money would go on a newer, even more powerful S63 AMG, or an Audi S8 that's a decade fresher, or perhaps even an outgoing Jaguar XJR with a little more cash in the kitty. Worthy alternatives all; none, however, does gangster chic quite like a one-off, Japanese Domestic Market Alpina 7 Series. Which makes it more than good enough - perhaps too good, in fact - for mere mortals like us...
SPECIFICATION | ALPINA B7 (E65)
Engine: 4,398cc, supercharged V8
Transmission: 6-speed automatic, rear-wheel drive
Power (hp): 507@5,500rpm
Torque (lb ft): 516@4,250rpm
MPG: 21.9
CO2: Assume a lot
Recorded mileage: 55,000
First registered: 2006 (UK 2020)
Price new: Six figures, surely
Yours for: £22,999
1 / 5
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