Shed is often required to take Mrs Shed out for walks in the West Country. When a secluded glade presents itself, Mrs Shed will shout "picnic time" and get out her buttered buns as a precursor to something rather horrible.
So far, Shed has managed to resist her blandishments, but he fears that a point will soon arrive where he will run out of excuses and he will end up being crushed in the Quantocks.
Which way to the special stage?
The best and only escape plan he has managed to come up with so far is to buy an impossibly small car with a gross vehicle weight rating that won't accommodate him, his 424lb wife and the family picnic hamper. He thinks this week's Shed, a Suzuki Ignis Sport, might well be a tasty candidate.
Suzuki is enjoying something of a quiet renaissance at the moment. Admittedly, there isn't much in its car range (yet) to excite the average PHer, but the company's family-oriented tackle is coming on faster than a customer relations operative in a Whitley Bay boozer, the Hayabusa engine is a thunderous piece of kit, and the Suzuki MotoGP team is storming back into prominence right now too.
We shouldn't be surprised by all this. Suzuki's engineering heritage is strong. Visually, the Ignis Sport may seem an unlikely hook on which to dangle the prospect of driving enjoyment, but just take the time to delve into this pocket rocket's hidden delights and you might begin to see the rationale.
The Ignis is far from being a Lupo GTI, but then again a Lupo GTI is far from being something you can snaffle for a grand. A more valid comparison is with the (rightly) much-vaunted Panda 100HP, a 975kg flea with 99hp, 97lb ft and a 0-60 time of 9.2sec.
Best get those stickers removed pronto
Good numbers for sure. But now read the Ignis stats: 945kg, 109hp, 103lb ft and a 0-60 time of 8.9sec. That's in 80Kw detuned-for-Europe spec. The JDM version had 85Kw, or nearly 116hp.
Interesting, eh? The Sport's 'affordable performance in titchy package' comes courtesy of its twin-cam, variable-timing 1.5 VVTS four-pot motor. Extra mini-VTEC style squirt kicks in at around 4,000rpm. Because it's basically the same engine as the one in the Toyota Yaris T Sport (albeit with a freer-flowing exhaust), toughness is a reasonable expectation that's largely borne out by owner experience.
Back in the day there was no shortage of expert praise for the Suzuki's chassis. Remember that Suzuki was doing rather well in the Junior World Rally Championship in the early 2000s. Only five ratios in your box, but as long as the clutch isn't playing up and getting all heavy on yo' ass, which can happen, the change will be amusingly quick and positive.
This one here is a 2004 model with just 64K under its belt, so you should be in line for lots more raucous miles with very little to go wrong.
Genuine Recaros! Genuine fake carbon too...
The ride is not what you would call plush. In fact it's probably the opposite of that. But when you're having fun, who cares about haemorrhoids? Even in standard trim, the brakes are vented discs all round, the seats Recaro, the steering wheel leather and the console, er, faux-carbonfibre.
Which brings us to the regrettable part, the outside. Nobody at PH Towers is sure if those ghastly stick-on accoutrements were part of the standard Sport offering, but if you're handy with a heat gun and a scalpel you should be able to restore some semblance of respectability to the poor thing.
Check out owner reviews for an insight into why one journo described the Ignis Sport as the surprise test drive of the year. If you buy it, you might want to invest in a set of industrial ear defenders. Shed swears by them. Mind you, he swears by most things.
FUN FUN FUN.
1.5 vvt (104 bhp)
64k miles
Body work great for age, few stone chips but nothing major.
Custom made exhaust,sounds sporty, but not overy loud.
K&N Panel filter
Mtec drilled and grooved discs all round, yellow stuff pads up front. Blacks on the rear.
Good sound car that creates lots of smiles per mile.
